Tag Archives: The Crazy is Following Me

by | October 25, 2010 · 8:20 am

There’s a Whole Lot of Inappropriate Going on in the Halloween Department

I'm uncomfortable.

At the risk of this becoming a blog solely about the crazy-slash-fantastic that goes on in the mecca that is Target, I need to share with you my most recent experience: the Target Halloween costume department. Holy Inappropriateness. I can’t even begin to describe how uncomfortable I was.

First, the adult costumes for 11-year-old girls. Do parents even exist anymore? And what exactly is a Midnight Maven? Why is this child out at midnight anyway? When I was in fifth grade, I was a table for Halloween. A table. My head was a centerpiece. It was the greatest costume ever. My only guess is that this girl is a cross between Elvira and the licorice man from Candy Land, who by day runs an escort service. I’m just sayin’. Also in this section, a “Stitch Witch” (not sure at all what that means), and some kind of British go-go dancer. Come on people.

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Filed under Holidays, Oh Baby It's a Wild World, WORST Things Ever

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by | October 19, 2010 · 8:29 am

I Think My Parents Have Reached Senior Citizen Status

This could be a very serious warning sign.

You know when people get old and they start to acquire these little quirks, like when my grandparents would pocket-dial us from their cell phone and leave 10 messages that consisted mainly of them talking about Shingles cream and bologna sandwiches? Or like when the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex to cure everything?

Well, I guess my parents have finally reached senior citizen status because they’ve found their weird quirk: toothpaste hoarding.

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Filed under The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

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by | October 13, 2010 · 12:11 pm

Pumpkins, Wine and Mums: It’s the Fall Experience!

So every year I make the trek out to the North Fork of Long Island on Columbus Day Weekend with every sincerest intention to casually pick pumpkins, buy mums and drink some wine. This is what my mom refers to as the “Fall Experience.” However, the real version of the Fall Experience involves my mom kidnapping whatever friends I’ve invited to join us, driving them to hell and back (which is actually Jamesport to Greenport to Jamesport) in bumper-to-bumper traffic and force-feeding them corn and apple cider. She’s lucky we always seem to have beautiful weather.

This year was no different as we visited Harbes Farms, Raphael Vineyard and the Gabrielsen Greenhouse. Pumpkin count: 47 (of various shapes and sizes). Mum count: oh about 1,000, some of which are still in my car. Wine count: a delicate mixture of whites and reds.

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Filed under Around Town, BEST Things Ever, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

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