I received this lovely note from ConEdison in the mail yesterday:
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR GAS USAGE
The readings we’ve obtained from your gas meter for the referenced account do not show any usage. This is a matter of concern to us since you may have stopped using our gas or our meter may not be working properly.
If you are not using our gas service and do not intend to use it in the near future, the service should probably be turned off.
No, ConEdison, I haven’t switched to another gas service and my meter is working. I just haven’t used my stove in over a month. And no, it has nothing to do with your service, which has been great, it’s just that I’ve gotten to the point in my life where cooking and buying groceries has proved to be more stress than I need in a day and I’d rather spend my time at Gristedes deciding which is a more appropriate dinner cereal, Cheerios or Rice Chex. I eat a full meal at lunch which I buy at one of the convenient locations near my office, and I’ve found that this is quite filling. Until I get married and have children, I really don’t feel the need to sautee, bake, boil or fry.
I appreciate your concern about my well-being, which is how I’m going to take this note. In the meantime, please discontinue your wash-woman ways and mind your business. I am a woman who doesn’t want to cook, and if my gas usage is upsetting to you then I suggest we discontinue all correspondence now. If not, please keep your opinions to yourself. I know what you’re thinking.