Another Reason I Would Be A Terrible Housewife

I received this lovely note from ConEdison in the mail yesterday:


The readings we’ve obtained from your gas meter for the referenced account do not show any usage. This is a matter of concern to us since you may have stopped using our gas or our meter may not be working properly.

If you are not using our gas service and do not intend to use it in the near future, the service should probably be turned off.

No, ConEdison, I haven’t switched to another gas service and my meter is working. I just haven’t used my stove in over a month. And no, it has nothing to do with your service, which has been great, it’s just that I’ve gotten to the point in my life where cooking and buying groceries has proved to be more stress than I need in a day and I’d rather spend my time at Gristedes deciding which is a more appropriate dinner cereal, Cheerios or Rice Chex. I eat a full meal at lunch which I buy at one of the convenient locations near my office, and I’ve found that this is quite filling. Until I get married and have children, I really don’t feel the need to sautee, bake, boil or fry.

I appreciate your concern about my well-being, which is how I’m going to take this note. In the meantime, please discontinue your wash-woman ways and mind your business. I am a woman who doesn’t want to cook, and if my gas usage is upsetting to you then I suggest we discontinue all correspondence now. If not, please keep your opinions to yourself. I know what you’re thinking.


Filed under About Me, WORST Things Ever

6 responses to “Another Reason I Would Be A Terrible Housewife

  1. Nicole

    This is a great post.
    Kelly if it makes you feel any better.
    I have a husband and two children and I have not used the stove in over a month!
    Your not alone dear childhood friend.

    The trick Kelly is to not use the stove ever so your future husband has to do all the cooking!

  2. Do you keep heels in your fridge like Carrie, too?

  3. alli

    love this so much. when i went apt hunting, one of the hardest questions that i had to answer was whether i wanted a gas or electric stove – i certainly didn’t know there was a difference. and when asked whether or not a dishwasher was necessary, my mom replied, “what for? starbucks cups and takeout containers?” so. i get it.

  4. B.

    hahaha, i love this kel! I’ve been behind on your postings lately and am looking forward to catching up on your life 😉

  5. Lisa

    I think the oven is used to store sweaters

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