Author Archives: kellyanncarroll

I’ve Seen My Future, And it Looks Like Grey Gardens

We could totally pass for the Bouvier Beales.

My quest to become Little Edie Beale got a little more real Thanksgiving weekend, as my Aunt Carole and I played dress up in some of my nana’s old gowns (pictured right). Aunt Carole looked better in these dresses than I did, but that’s what Zumba will do for you. You go, girl!

So it’s pretty much cemented that I will have an affair with someone in the state department that looks like a Baldwin brother, will lose all my hair, will move in with my mother (or Aunt Carole, who is doing an awesome Big Edie impersonation), and will eventually start to wear awesome headscarves (which clearly is a good look for me). I’ll spend the rest of my time here in Boston perfecting my affected New England accent. And we already have the house in the Hamptons. This plan is done and done.

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Filed under About Me, BEST Things Ever, Holidays, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

Hathaway, Franco and Oscar: This Could Be Interesting

Photo courtesy of ProJo.com

Anne Hathaway and James Franco will be hosting the Oscars when they come to town in February, and I am excited/anxious/scared about the prospect of this.

From a cameo in Hugh Jackman’s opening number at the Oscars a few years ago, we know that Hathaway can do the shtick we are used to seeing from hosts of this awards show. And I’d like to think James Franco can pretty much do anything and is gonna come out to rock our socks off. But part of me is nervous that this pairing is going to give us Broadway/Disney musical-slash-poetry reading and Franco cutting off his own arm.

Also, I’m not really sure how this all works, but is this the Academy’s way of telling Hathaway and Franco that no, they will not be nominated this year? Or are they going for some kind of shock and awe where the hired entertainment actually goes home with the prize? So many questions.

On top of that, I have to worry about Rachel Zoe being 100 months pregnant and trying to style Anne Hathaway’s Oscar look (this is making for a great! third season of RZP). Shut. It. Down.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever, TV FANatic, WORST Things Ever

Smurf Mass Murder: This is What Black Friday Does to People

Ok, so it wasn’t Black Friday, because quite frankly, it’s hard for me to be pulled into shopping on a regular day, let alone the most crowded shopping day of the year. But I was at the Palisades Mall a few weeks ago looking for a dress for my cousin’s wedding and came upon this disturbing scene. I guess I could blame Gargamel.

There are many theories we could go by, since clearly the authorities are not investigating this incident as closely as they should be. Again, Gargamel is an easy suspect. But I also feel like this could have been some type of murdercide situation. You can’t see it in the picture above, but the Smurf in the middle has a pencil stuck up his nose. And right in front of the Macy’s Santa mailbox. What a terrible way to go.

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Filed under WORST Things Ever