by | September 26, 2011 · 8:11 pm

Dancing with the Stars: Now that World Peace is Out of the Picture, Let’s Get the Competition Going!

So Ron Artest is gone, which means I can finally unclench my butt cheeks. Seriously. He scared me like no other. He was involved in that Detroit Pistons/Indianapolis Pacers brawl right? Yeah, this is what I’m saying. It looks like we’re doing the Quickstep and Jive tonight, which is super fun because these are my two favorite dances. They’re fast and furious – no wonder the opening package showed everyone passing out. I’m excited!

Hope Solo, Jive: Hope is playing soccer and dancing, and I just think this is ludicrous. She’s having a tough time kicking correctly, because all she wants to do is kick a ball. You guyyyyysss! Maks and Hope are dressed up like soccer players. Well, something like that. And they’re kind of all over the place. Maybe it’s because her sneakers are high heels! It just kind of looks like she’s jumping all over the place. It was silly. And I didn’t love it.

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by | September 26, 2011 · 9:09 am

Can Someone Tell Me What This is All About?

I mean, are they chips or are they wings? If I’m craving chips, why would I eat these wing-like Ruffles? If I’m craving wings, why would I eat chips? Maybe they aren’t chips. There’s no chips involved anywhere in this advertisement. Maybe Ruffles has branched out into different types of junk snack foods. I don’t know. There’s no telling. But I can say that I shouldn’t pump gas late at night.

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by | September 22, 2011 · 9:10 am

I’m Fairly Certain My Parents are Trying to Sabotage My Living with Them

Just realized there's a hidden message to the right of my arm.

It’s been a whole three weeks (three weeks you guys!) since I moved back in with my parents, and the shenanigans these two are pulling can only lead me to believe that the sooner they get me out of the house the happier they’ll be to go back to their previous life of solitude and Wheel of Fortune.

As only parents can, Jeanie and Den have taken to passive aggressively making it clear that my being home has thrown a wrench into their routine (Note: walking on the treadmill for 60 minutes a day and taking a shower should not constitute as a routine), so I’ve taken it upon myself to list all their antics here. You see this? I’m on to you both.

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Filed under About Me, BEST Things Ever, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

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