Category Archives: It's All Going In The Book

by | July 11, 2010 · 6:37 pm

The Remedy is the Experience; the Comedy is that it’s Serious

No matter how old you get, no matter what occasion, there are always lessons to be learned from your family. Below, the Top 10 tips from the past 4th of July. Enjoy!

1. At 13, texting honeys whilst skateboarding is bad news. When you get a little older, it’s texting and driving. Sexting is bad news at any age.

2. My Uncle Ed is “Mediterranean” according to my Aunt Carole, and that’s why he tans. I thought he was from Yonkers, but I guess I was wrong.

3. Priests don’t like it when you skip church. They also do not like when you do yoga on the front lawn of the rectory.

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Filed under About Me, Holidays, It's All Going In The Book, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

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by | July 8, 2010 · 4:42 pm

This Spy Thing is Kind of Ridiculous

The timing is way too fortuitous for Ms. Jolie.

I’m a conspiracy theorist and will pretty much form some kind of crazy plot to just about anything in my mind – like my suspicion that people are drugging my Chipotle burritos or that Michael Jackson actually died during that Pepsi commercial fire fiasco (this one is interesting and involves a sub-theory on Tupac still being alive, I may have to blog about it one day).

So, when I heard this morning that those Russian spies/suburban model-seducers were going to be traded for prisoners of our own that Russia has been holding for years, I couldn’t help but think that something fishy was going on.

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by | March 10, 2010 · 9:20 am

EHarmony Foils Itself

Having just moved to Beantown, I put myself on EHarmony to meet some new guys and, I’m not gonna lie, maybe get a free dinner. But for the past few weeks I’ve been fairly certain that EHarmony’s claims to be matching me “across 29 levels of compatibility” are hogwash and that they basically just match me with anyone in a 30-mile radius.

Last night my suspicions were confirmed when I found that I was matched with a friend of a friend from college. I’m a pretty good judge of who I like and don’t like. I think I would have realized six years ago that me and this guy were perfect for each other. So basically EHarmony’s calling me stupid, and I don’t take that from anybody. (I’m going to refrain from going into the story about my first EHarmony date calling the 5-year-old version of myself “fat.” I’m saving that one for the book.)

So EHarmony, you’re on notice.

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