Category Archives: WORST Things Ever

If You See a Mortar Shell, Run in the Other Direction

What am I here for? The mortar or the spine? Photo courtesy of the Southampton Press.

It wasn’t more than a year ago that I was coming home every day from work complaining about how crazy Long Island truly is. Ask anyone around that knows me – there are people who no longer speak to me because the complaining was at a maximum. Since then, I often think that maybe I exaggerated certain situations – that the crazy was all in my head. That was, until I read the following tidbit in the Southampton Press:

Two startling discoveries were made at Ponquogue Beach in Hampton Bays on Wednesday morning.

A beachgoer spotted a rusty mortar shell on the sand just east of the concession stand at around 11 a.m. Less than a half hour earlier, someone had discovered a large portion of a spine washed up between the Ponquogue Beach pavilion and Road I, according to police.

Um, excuuuuuse me? Can you repeat that? How can we be so nonchalant about this nonsense??!!

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Filed under Around Town, WORST Things Ever

Apparently Ozeki Kotomitsuki is Japanese for Pete Rose

The governing board of sumo wrestling in Japan is currently grappling with a scandal tantamount to the hit-leader’s back in the 80s. With scary similarities.

According to CNN (and just about every sports news outlet around), the Japan Sumo Association is investigating claims that Kotomitsuki and his “stable master” (which I can only assume is like the guy in the corner of the boxing ring that stitches up people and pours water on their face) be fired from the association amid claims that the pair and 15 other wrestlers have been illegally gambling on…wait for it…baseball.

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Filed under Wide World Of Sports, WORST Things Ever

Jennifer Aniston and I Clearly Go to the Same Trainer

Jennifer Aniston’s latest installment of Smartwater ads is completely bonkers, and this one in particular (the one where her abs look dangerously similar to my own), stares back at me every time I leave my office. I have not yet decided if this is motivating or just down right mean. Thank you, Smartwater.

Clearly, there are things that I need to know about Jennifer Aniston’s workout routine and diet so that I too can look EXACTLY like that. Just in case Jennifer reads this blog, I’m going to list them below. And, begin:

1. How much Smartwater do you drink a day? Is it only Smartwater, or will the water from the tap in my office (which is no longer contaminated, thank you city of Boston) suffice?

2. Do you eat Chipotle burritos? How often?

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Filed under Around Town, BEST Things Ever, TV FANatic, WORST Things Ever