Tag Archives: Things That May One Day Kill Me

This is So Not How You Become the Pippa Middleton of a Wedding

As has become apparent I’m sure over the past few months, I was/am obsessed with the royal wedding, in particular the rising star of one Pippa Middleton. So much so that, moments after the world’s most famous sibling entered Westminster Abbey, I was proclaiming that I would be the Pippa Middleton of not one, not two, but all of the weddings I have to attend in the next year or so. Meaning, I was going to upstage everyone, be the best dressed, etc. Oh, wishful thinking.

My first attempt came at the Memorial Day nuptials of my cousin RJ. To say I crashed and burned would be an understatement. But instead of being upset or going on the defensive, I’m owning it, and because of that, I’m going to give all of you the definitive guide on what not to do at a wedding, family function, or really anytime you’re in public. This is How Not to be the Pippa Middleton of a Wedding. You’ll thank me later.

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Filed under About Me, BEST Things Ever, WORST Things Ever

Marathon Monday 2011

Group shot: Ray, Mary Ann and Me

So as you all know I spent last year’s marathon going to work and taking a 2.5 hour lunch break and then leaving early to drink with people who actually ran the race and would be collapsing shortly. I also had one of the greatest encounters of my life with a drunk college student in a hot pink feather boa, who was practically sobbing whilst eating a slice of pizza outside of Pino’s. What could possibly top this???? I’ll give you some hints: Loin cloths, the Freedom Trail and something that looked eerily similar to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.

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Filed under Around Town, BEST Things Ever, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, Wide World Of Sports

The Secret History of the World: One Big Mind Eff

In college it was required that I take a semester of Philosophy. I went to a public high school, and never forayed into such educational spheres, but I felt like I contemplated things enough in my own head to stay up with my class. I was wrong. My professor was some Ph.D candidate that liked to ride bicycles into cars to force people to go green or something, and he had extremely existential views on the world. One day I fell asleep while we were talking about that Plato cave business, and when I woke up some kid was all like “I see blue, and you see blue, but how do I know that your blue and my blue are the same.” Nonsense.

On the other side of things, I thoroughly enjoy talking about the history of religion. The Da Vinci Code, the Knights Templar, the Masons, etc. I think it’s intriguing. I’m a firm believer that religion has been interpreted to fulfill non-spiritual needs, for example the Bible being so patriarchical and what have you. I may just get excommunicated from my grammar school parish, but I do think Jesus and Mary Magdalen were married. It fascinates me.

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Filed under Other People's Stuff, WORST Things Ever