Monthly Archives: August 2010

by | August 27, 2010 · 8:29 pm

Lil Wayne’s Thoughts on Tennis, From Jail

Remember that episode of The Office where they find out that one of the employees from the newly-merged Stamford branch is an ex-con? And Michael get’s all offended because he thinks the employee is making jail sound better than Dunder-Mifflin? So he creates “Prison Mike” to let them know that prison is nothing but dropping the soap and eating gruel? Well, “Prison Mike” was wrong, because Lil Wayne is making jail seem like the life I want to have.

When Weezy isn’t making new music (which I can’t even do from my apartment, go figure), he’s apparently blogging about everything that is sport. So Sports Illustrated decided to send him some sheets of their letterhead and asked him to write about the U.S. Open. “The U.S. Open, 100 words, go!” And trust me, giving things to people in jail is not easy. I tried to give my business card to a murderer once and they had to test it for a day to make sure it wasn’t laced with drugs. This is a completely true story.

Wayne “simply adores” Maria Sharapova, but is giving the edge to Kim Clijsters on the women’s side. And obviously, he’s backing Rafa for the men. It’s things like this that make it good to wake up in the morning. Respectfully, Kelly.

Read Lil Wayne’s entire letter here.

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by | August 26, 2010 · 3:44 pm

Denny Carroll Can’t Even Handle This Right Now

When I was in preschool we used to have Cheese Nips for snack time and I used to cry because I came from a Cheez-It only household and they just aren’t the same, no matter what Mrs. Gilles tries to tell you. They’re just not.

Here to prove it, secondratesnacks.com is currently holding a vote as to which is the better cheese-flavored delight: the obviously way more awesome Cheez-It or the sad and lonely Cheese Nip. Clearly, I’m partial, as there are actually people in the world who would rather (gross) eat a Nip.

“I mentioned I was going to compare these to the intern at work (way back earlier this month when I had a job),” writes whoever it is that runs Second Rate Snacks, “and she felt very strongly about Cheese Nips and how disgusting Cheez-Its were, almost like she thought people who favored Cheez-Its also ate dog food.” Well, I don’t like this intern one bit (also, can we talk about the abundance of bloggers who say they used to have a job? This does not bode well for me).

Vote here, and vote well. If you don’t make the right choice, Denny will make you sit on the couch for 15 whole minutes. And you know what that right choice is.

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by | August 26, 2010 · 8:09 am

A Quest to Get Skinny Jeans to Finally Look Good on Me: The Beginning

Kate Moss says nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. She can suck it.

As you can tell from the sidebar on the right, I have a lot of weddings coming up. All family. All big. So in anticipation of these shindigs, I’ve decided to join Weight Watchers to drop some of the poundage I’ve amassed this summer, basically so I can look better than all the brides (oh, sue me, it’s true).

There was a good amount of time during the spring when I lost like 20 lbs., mostly because I lost all interest in food. This is not called weight loss mom, it’s called starvation. Since I’ve started eating again, my choices have been pretty terrible, i.e. Chipotle burritos, potato chips, Coke, quesadillas, movie theater popcorn and ravioli. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I got a J.Lo booty.

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